Packing Stuff

Today Nutella effectively moved out. I respected her but we didn’t have the right personalities to get along. Her room is pretty much empty and she just has a few bags left here. She’s moved it all into her boyfriend’s attic an hour’s drive away. Passionfruit said that Nutella was “upset” that she had to pay for June, and so she’s trying to find people to sublet for a month. I just showed the place to a guy. Everything’s changing and it’s kinda stressful. Embrace change! Do it!

So we were all packing today, I guess inspired by her example. Well, except for Waffles. His parents are coming up tomorrow and dragging him back home for a while, I don’t know how long. He also said that if the girls move out, then he’d move out too. The implication would be that there wouldn’t be anything for him here, even if I stayed. So that’s good of him.


I saw Marie today!

She doesn’t attend this university. She’s spending another two quarters at a school a bit north of here. Waffles and I were up because it was a really logical time to do it (the logistics and driving schedules were good; we could get driven up and back in the same day). Passionfruit drove us up, and we three stopped by the Jelly Belly factory, which is filled with Ronald Reagan memorabilia. We bought some irregulars.

Then we hung out with Marie. She was always a little off-kilter, but she’s completely nuts now. This is awesome. She talked about how she wanted to get a DO and she also talked about holistic medicine. Waffles was still feeling sad, so she told him to meditate and she tried to read his energy. She said that atoms are 99.9% empty space, which is true. But then she says, “why not have them filled with energy?” Then she talks about how electrons aren’t really particles. She got all her physics right, at least. She had a lot of mind-over-matter ideas, like you would will yourself out of illness. Some girls are cuter when they’re crazy.

But apart from that, she also had some really interesting aphorisms. She was like, “Be happy! Nobody will care that you’re miserable so you might as well be happy!” and “You’re in control! Someone could push me into the bushes, but you’re the one who falls and so you have a part of it as well.” It’s like thinspiration for the soul who consumed too much chicken soup in the 2000s. Also she tried to characterize Waffles’s crises because I guess she had a bunch of crises.

Two brief thoughts

My friends usually don’t conform very well to typical racial or ethnic expectations.

I have frequently described my feelings towards my roommate Nutella by using the words “vanilla” “boring” and “serious”. I met one of my friend’s friends who is also vanilla and boring, but I still got along with her, so I think I’ve narrowed the quality that I don’t like to serious. Serious people are weird. It’s impossible to joke around. I have nothing to say to them so it’s hard.

Also I prefer when songs don’t have choruses.

All I do is fucking win

I picked up some floss off the ground which isn’t even the same color as my current floss that’s how old it is. I immediately used it to floss. It tasted like my mouth eight months ago.

My dick is Malthusian — nasty, brutish, and short.

I disagree with Katy Perry. I know a variety of girls from California, and not all of them are plastic whores.

Ugh, more roommate updates

So, he acted pretty normal today. We were all hanging out, including him and his exgf, and everything went okay. We went to a bar where they have pool tables, but it’s like $10 an hour and we were there for three hours, so one of my friends must spent a pretty good amount of money (on top of $7 cocktails).

Then we all went back to a friend’s house to play beer pong, and he’s a really cool guy apart from the predilection for beer pong. FRIEND was friends with exgf long before exgf even knew my roommate. So, we play a few round of beer pong, and everyone is ready to leave. Roommate really wants to walk exgf home, but FRIEND prevents this by offering that either he or his air force buddy was going to do so. I wasn’t paying too much attention, but apparently roommate really wanted to do so, but I just now realize that even though they were all drunk, they still had the subtext that roommate shouldn’t do that because exgf doesn’t want it. So they argue for a little bit, and exgf’s cute friend (surprisingly good at beer pong) calls the campus walking service and they drive exgf, exgf’s cute friend, Passionfruit, and Passionfruit’s old dorm buddy back their respective locations, while I jog back with roommate.

Passionfruit’s old dorm roommate is crashing in her room, so when roommate and I get back, they’ve already arrived. While we were jogging, roommate talked about how he thinks FRIEND is trying to get with exgf, which is stupid. They’re close, but if it were going to happen, it would have happened by now. Yeah, FRIEND was “all over” exgf, but he was also all over me and a bunch of his other friends because that’s just who he is. He’s a really close guy.

Anyway, I don’t think the jog back calmed him down any because he tried to smash a storefront window with his elbow (didn’t work, life is not like the movies) but he was pretty drunk. When we got back into the building, there were two mostly-empty Heineken bottles from someone else’s party near the front door. I’m like, “hey someone else had a party” and he grabs one, kicks open the building door, and throws it on the ground. He’s a fucking idiot, our apartment building has security cameras everywhere, but I guess drunk enough not to care.

When we came back up, he takes her sunglasses which she left here, and throws them out the window (fifth floor). Passionfruit tries to stop him, and he knocks over her favorite plant (fava bean) while throwing the glasses out the window. I’m in the living room scrambling some eggs because I haven’t had a real meal all day. I also heated up some soup that Nutella made (it was weird, it was incredibly spicy but kind of like ratatouille. But all of the tomatoes and onions tasted they still had a lot of integrity, so she might not have cooked it for a long time. It would have made a good appetizer.) Anyway, roommate just gets more and more pissed, and he slams my half of the door. (We share a room, and it has two sliding doors, and he slammed my half so hard it broke at the bottom.) Then, I rush over to fix it, but I’m still outside the room, and he closes his and latches the room shut. There’s no way to get inside because the latch is a locking mechanism, so I just kind of resignedly say, “oh well, I guess I’ll sleep out here tonight.”

A few minutes later, roommate opens the door for whatever reason, and Passionfruit runs in and gets in his face about how he’s being so inconsiderate. They yell at each other for a few minutes, and she leaves the room, while I’m still at the table eating scrambled eggs and the really spicy soup. Roommate can be heard changing clothes in the room, and he comes out in rain-weather appropriate clothes with his backpack, which he angrily fills with some pretzels and something from the pantry. He then storms out, slamming the door. A minute later he comes back in, grabs his knife, and I see him putting it in his inside pocket as he walks past me again. So he walks out, slams the door, and he’s gone for good.

Rewind back to yesterday. Our former roommate, Archibald (whom I realize that I enjoy because although he can be frustrating, he is one of few people who tells me the truth and is therefore valuable) borrowed my graduation robe/hat because he probably didn’t feel like paying $50 for a set himself. Today he comes back after his graduation (We went to his reception in hopes of seeing him, but he didn’t go to it. The little pastries and stuff were really good there.) and he returns my robe and hat. He also has a lei, which he thinks is stupid and I agree. It’s a waste of flowers. So many flowers. And it’s not like you can just put them in some water and they’ll be okay for a few days, they’re pretty much dead. Anyway, I’ve never had a lei, so I wanted Passionfruit to take a picture of me in one, so while roommate is storming in and out for the knife, I’m posing for a picture. That’s when I notice him with the knife in his inside pocket.

So we tried calling him, and he picks up to tell us to fuck off and then hang up. My call lasted seven seconds. Passionfruit’s lasted a few seconds more. We thought he might be on the roof because I heard noise up there, but he wasn’t up there. Maybe he’s in the forest again.

Whatever. During the jog, I tried talking to him, but he got really combative and it didn’t help at all. I’m glad this retarded shit is happening now that I don’t have to live with him because I really would not elect to live with him again.


Had the commencement ceremony today. I gave people the Nixon wave and shouted “four more years!” Nobody gave a shit. Some people danced and one person fell while dancing.

Also, another update on roommate’s breakup. Last night, he came back really late, which doesn’t really surprise me. But I needed to wake up at 7AM for commencement, so I was asleep early. I was woken in the middle of the night by him crying on the phone (haven’t heard him cry before) but I just went back to sleep.

It turns out that exgf defriended him from Facebook.