My international student friend wanted to go to the mall. He called me yesterday and asked me about it. Like any attempts to impose exterior control on my personal schedule, I gave him a maybe. It depended on how I was feeling today.
Well I woke up in time, so I called him and said that I was down. So I get dressed and go to Jamba Juice to exchange my buy-7-get-1 free card for a Mango-a-Go-Go. I also purchased an agave bar and it was delicious as always. That was actually my lunch the second day I spent in Minneapolis. Anyway, walk in the vague direction of the stadium, and I spot my international friend, let’s call him Alpha, just as the bus arrived. We exit the bus a few miles east and wait to transfer. He wants to go into a Payless Shoe to try on some boots he was looking at online. So we do that. The in-store stereo played “Breathless” by The Coors. I sang and danced to it. Alpha looked at me like I was crazy.
The boots fit and we walked to the bus stop. I stood on the bus bench. It was a really shitty neighborhood, where the houses are ugly and disrepaired and trash litters the ground everywhere. Lots of low-SES people around. I should not have worn a tie. They can smell that I’m not one of them. I don’t smell of Miller High Life and the Franklin Mint’s collectible Obama coins. Anyway, we pass a mother and child walking home in the fifty-degree weather, and the child points at me (standing on the bus bench) and apparently wants to take the bus. The mother refuses as they lived two blocks away. Then the kid points to a shopping cart haphazardly placed a few feet away and the mother is like, no I’m not going to push you.
That lady wouldn’t recklessly use a shopping cart… but I would. So Alpha volunteered to get into the shopping cart, and I pushed him forward at a running pace. We went maybe ten yards or so. Then he was like, “Let’s go back.” So then I started running backwards. Then… I could feel the cart start to tilt. And Alpha was sort of crouching on the cart, so the center of gravity was high. Yeah, he fell out and onto the sidewalk. He fell on his tailbone, which was good. I was afraid that he’d hit his head. He was a bit melodramatic about the pain, but he scraped the side of his hand and he kept on talking about how much his butt hurt. He was kind of bleeding and a little hurt, so even though the bus came, I waved it away because Alpha was melodramatically hurt. When he got enough willpower to walk, we walked to a nearby Taco Bell to clean out his scrape. I felt kinda crappy about using facilities without buying anything, so I bought two tacos and they were moderately good actually for the price. This was the first time I’ve ever actually eaten at Taco Bell. I gave a taco to Alpha. I figured he would like it because he loves trashy food like KFC.
When we leave Taco Bell, another bus has just barely passed, so that’s great. We end up waiting 45 minutes for this bus. So the bus driver is super nice and greets and says bye to everyone who comes and goes. Also he teaches me how to put a transfer into the thingy that scans it. We get to the mall and get off. Alpha has a list of some stuff to buy. They didn’t have a H&M which is usually my fave. I stopped in Express and Pacsun because… I dunno. I felt like it. Alpha’s mom wanted a Coach purse, but only gave him $150, so it didn’t quite fit in the price range. Apparently Coach bags cost more in China because of luxury taxes. I suspect his parents are moderately wealthy. I see a relatively nice one for $220 but he doesn’t like it. Coach doesn’t have Black Friday sales. They never have any sales. It’s Coach. I don’t really get girls and handbags. I really don’t. You can get a pretty nice designer men’s bag for like $80. And you go to Coach and get a purse that looks like any other purse except it costs $350? What the fuck is that about? I don’t even know what single garment I could possibly spent that amount of money on. Maybe a peacoat with straps and whistles and shit or denim that’s extremely fucking raw. Fucking purses dude, how do they work?
So then he really likes JC Penney for some reason (because he’s new to the country) and he wants a shirt and a tie and a sweater. So he buys this solid blue shirt (sort of a darker powder blue with a bit more saturation) and this white tie. A solid white tie to go with it. And he also picks out a different striped blue polyester tie. A polyester tie. I repeat — this tie is made of polyester, not silk. Also the shirt is polyester/cotton blend. What the fuck. Also he kept on asking me for advice, and I told him not to buy those things but then he kept on arguing so I didn’t give a shit. Don’t argue with people who are giving you advice. Also he really wanted to buy a sweater-vest and really wanted my rationale as to why wearing a sweater-vest is improper. Also he doesn’t know what shopping at Wal-Mart or eating at KFC is improper. He’s sort of fobby in that respect I guess.
On the way back we stop at a grocery store which I’m considering frequenting, although it’s in a shitty neighborhood. Several African-American gentlemen were thoroughly inebriated at the bus stop and on the bus. I was nervous because young black males commit most of the crimes around campus according to the emails I get. So then I came home tired and worn out from walking through a mall. The back of the bus was completely filled with Asians with indeterminate nationality who were talking about Pokemon in indecipherable accents. We all got off at the same stop. I didn’t feel great about it.
I came home and get on Facebook. I talked to some friends, and then noticed that one of the advertisements was Levi’s. They were having a 30% off + free shipping deal. I bought a pair of 514s and a pair of 511s which were already slightly discounted at about $28 each which is an excellent price for what you’re getting. This is the first time I ever clicked an advertisement out of interest and purchased something as a result of that. But it was something I was looking at anyway so w/e.
Happy African-American Friday.