Public education and democracy inaction

We have class reps. It’s pretty stupid, they’re people who field the complaints of the class and talk to professors about it. It’s mostly a line on an email signature, although you have to show up to stuff and it’s not particularly fun. The class reps tend not to wish to repeat their tenures after the year is over.

So, anyone can nominate anyone else in the nomination process, and someone nominated me, I don’t really know who. And so the current rep asked me if I wanted to run and looking at the three insouciant and tedious souls who were currently running, I threw my name into the hat completely on a whim. So I wrote a brief speech and gave it. The other three candidates gave really dry and  boring speeches where they prattled off the lines at the end of their email sigs, like I was nominally in charge of this-and-that and that somehow qualifies me for this if you don’t think too hard about it.

I went a sort of different route.

“As a class rep, I would be happy to engage with the professors and be a voice by which the class may proclaim its malefactions. If you have concerns, I’d be happy to address them.

What separates me from the other candidates is that I’m opposed to student government in principle and I’ll do my best to reduce its tyrannical scope; whenever we as students cede our freedoms to an o’erweaning authority, we lose these freedoms; I’d like to salute all those students who left after the therapy test for reclaiming those freedoms by skipping this ‘mandatory’ class meeting. I know pandering to people who aren’t even here and can’t vote isn’t a good idea, but that’s the kind of class rep I’ll be — I’ll stand on principle for the freedoms of the class.”

I didn’t win. I don’t even think I came close. Two of the really boring and soft-spoken nobodies who mumbled their inarticulate ideas and qualifications won. But I got a bunch of laughs, so that’s good too I guess. Turns out that being a libertarian is hard. Now I know how Ron Paul feels.


It really is a nice day outside

So after three winter storms in April, it’s finally nice outside. It went from winter storm to 70+ degrees in the course of three days.

So peasant girl walked by my open door, and we had a brief conversation.


Her: Bye.

Me: Where are you going?

Her: I’m going for a walk because it’s so nice outside.

Me: Oh, I was going to go for a walk soon too.

[the obvious implication being that we should go together, she looks like she’s expecting something]

Me: BYE!

I knew an old lady who swallowed a fly

I went in lab today and didn’t put on a lab coat like some sort of cool edgy wannabe chemist. Well, I got mineral oil on a relatively nice shirt, so I then did the logical thing and got acetone to try to get the mineral oil out. That didn’t work, and the acetone left a stain of its own, so I then chased it with n-hexane which left a stain independent of both the mineral oil and acetone, so I now have three stains on my shirt.

In my defense, the hexane did get most of the mineral oil out. Now I have to wash or maybe dry clean this shirt. And also buy an iron.

Woll Smoth

I attended a brief info session for residencies in managed care because I’m thinking of selling out to the insurance industry. So they had all the residency directors and residents over, and it’s just six or seven programs but not too many students are interested, so it was two or three students per group.

Anyway, I talked to a bunch of different health groups, and one of the subsidiaries of United Health had a resident with a face much to small for his head. He reminded me of Woll Smoth and I had to stifle laughter whenever I looked at him.


Catholic girl, continued.

So, the Catholic girl was talking casually, and I knew that she didn’t approve of contraception because she’s just that fucking Catholic, but yesterday she said she didn’t think that people should be allowed to have Viagra. If you can’t conceive because you can’t maintain an erection, that was God’s plan for you, and you shouldn’t be artificially giving yourself an erection with meds. The only reason sex exists is to procreate, and God doesn’t want to procreate so he makes your dick “flappy and floppy”. The fuck is wrong with people.

The Drudge Report

So two things about the pale Catholic girl in my class. She went to Catholic school and it turns out that going to Catholic school really fucks you up. She wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter. Also the one and only day they had sex ed, the teachers told them just two things —  your husband will teach you about sex, and also wipe front to back. So Catholic school is really great if you want to fuck up your kids.

So today she was reading a bizarre news article off her laptop, so I was like, “what site are you reading?” And it turns out she was reading Fox News. Then I tell her that it wasn’t a good source of news, and she seemed surprised. I asked her what else she read, and she said that she read The Drudge Report because in Catholic school they told her that it was the most moderate and reliable source of news. I laughed in her face.

Also later Aspie and I were arguing as usual, and he didn’t know that the Federal government regulated interstate commerce. He also had never heard of the commerce clause of the constitution. I know kindergarteners taking BABBY’S FIRST CIVICS CLASS who know that.

Guys like girls with really big neuroses

I went volunteering today, blood pressure stuff at a church filled with black people. I’ve written about it before, it’s pretty underwhelming unless you want to meet a bunch of black people with high blood pressure. It’s all going normally, there are four of us although I drove Aspie there and he brought neither his white coat nor his stethoscope nor anything else that showed even remote preparation, so he couldn’t actually take any blood pressures. He ended up just doing paperwork while I did the blood pressures. Also my blood pressure cuff (sphygmomanometer) didn’t quite fit on some of their arms because they’re physically fat and large people.

As we’re leaving, they invite us to have some of their food, which is laid out buffet style. I wasn’t going to eat anything because it didn’t look too good, but then they had salmon (albeit overseasoned and covered in some sort of cream-based sauce) so I had some. So it was me and Aspie and a ginger girl (unattractive) and a quiet short girl (moderately attractive). I hadn’t ever heard the quiet short girl talk, but she was responding to small talk well enough. Also she takes blood pressures competently.

So me and Aspie and unattractive ginger go get food, and we take it back to the blood pressure room, and we eat as quiet girl looks on. Unattractive ginger tries to talk her into getting food several times, but otherwise we have a fairly normal conversation about school and stuff. Then the ginger tries to food pressure the quiet girl some more. Then the girls make full on eye contact with each other for a good seven seconds while Aspie and I look on confused, like something was happening — it was that girl communication where they look at each other and somehow know what the other person thinks. And then quiet girl says something like, “I don’t really want to eat food that a hundred people have breathed all over” as three of us eat that very same food.

Maybe it was a racial thing, like she didn’t want to eat black people food. Or maybe she has a dietary thing. I get the whole not wanting to eat low SES food, it’s not about all the people who have talked while getting their food that isn’t protected with a sneeze guard. It’s heated so it’s not contaminated with bacteria or whatever. But it’s unclean. It’s not dirty, but it’s unclean. The same reason I don’t let other people use my stethoscope. Unclean. But when she said that with her crazy eyes, she immediately got several times more attractive because I guess I’m into chicks with massive neuroses I guess.