We have class reps. It’s pretty stupid, they’re people who field the complaints of the class and talk to professors about it. It’s mostly a line on an email signature, although you have to show up to stuff and it’s not particularly fun. The class reps tend not to wish to repeat their tenures after the year is over.
So, anyone can nominate anyone else in the nomination process, and someone nominated me, I don’t really know who. And so the current rep asked me if I wanted to run and looking at the three insouciant and tedious souls who were currently running, I threw my name into the hat completely on a whim. So I wrote a brief speech and gave it. The other three candidates gave really dry and boring speeches where they prattled off the lines at the end of their email sigs, like I was nominally in charge of this-and-that and that somehow qualifies me for this if you don’t think too hard about it.
I went a sort of different route.
“As a class rep, I would be happy to engage with the professors and be a voice by which the class may proclaim its malefactions. If you have concerns, I’d be happy to address them.
What separates me from the other candidates is that I’m opposed to student government in principle and I’ll do my best to reduce its tyrannical scope; whenever we as students cede our freedoms to an o’erweaning authority, we lose these freedoms; I’d like to salute all those students who left after the therapy test for reclaiming those freedoms by skipping this ‘mandatory’ class meeting. I know pandering to people who aren’t even here and can’t vote isn’t a good idea, but that’s the kind of class rep I’ll be — I’ll stand on principle for the freedoms of the class.”
I didn’t win. I don’t even think I came close. Two of the really boring and soft-spoken nobodies who mumbled their inarticulate ideas and qualifications won. But I got a bunch of laughs, so that’s good too I guess. Turns out that being a libertarian is hard. Now I know how Ron Paul feels.